Reflections: Alone Again

I recently released my first collaboration with Mixer Man, a song called ‘Alone Again’. In the lyrics, I portray someone who can’t understand why their relationships never work out, yet they are unwilling to see their own responsibility in their failure.

My intention for the song was to break it up into three sections to portray them experiencing three sets of distinct emotions. The first is sadness and confusion; wondering why they allowed themselves to be vulnerable and go through the whole process once again, only to face the same result.

The second verse expresses bitterness and frustration, lyrically, but also vocally. This person is angry that they are having to deal with the pain of another relationship loss and can’t understand why it keeps happening to them. They feel victimized and abandoned as well.

The song closes out with a feeling of defeat and continued unwillingness to change failed behavioral patterns or look inward at what is really causing them pain. They decide instead to live in willful ignorance and self-pity; hoping for good results from bad decisions.

I drew my inspiration for this song from witnessing these unhealthy patterns in people I tried to help and encourage, to no avail. Their stubbornness and pride would not allow them to face the reality of their poor choices. Anyone who dared point them out, even in the most loving way, was seen as an enemy. They insisted on being a victim and continuing down the path of least resistance, only to face bitter disappointment time and time again.

In all fairness, we all experience pride in some area of our life that we refuse to recognize, and I am no exception. We wonder why we can’t get off of crazy cycles and why we face the same results repeatedly. For example, it may be a bad habit we can’t break, giving into temptation or welcoming the same kind of negative people into our lives.

In some cases, we may be victims to a degree, perhaps someone is taking advantage of our weakness, but then we have to ask ourselves how long before we put an end to it. The song is a reminder to always evaluate your part of any ongoing circumstance in your life that is causing you pain and find a solution because ultimately no one else can do it for you and failing to do so will only alienate us and bring further loneliness.

Alone Again
Lyrics by Jakki Jelene

Why oh why am I alone again?
I just don’t know why I did this to myself again

But I’ve been trying oh so hard
To overcome the battle scars
And still I find
The battle’s only in my mind

My oh my, seems I’m alone again
I just don’t know how I ended up like this again

I never question if it’s wise
My fault I never recognize
And still I find
I’m always left behind

I don’t know why
I don’t know why
I don’t know why I’m alone

I don’t know why
I don’t know why
I don’t know why I’m alone (again)