Love or Truth?

I recently had coffee with a dear friend which spurred on some in-depth conversation about faith and dealing with those who have gone astray. More specifically, what our attitude should be toward fellow Believers who have fallen and how best to approach it. I sometimes find that the answer to the hard questions are often simple, and yet, easy to miss.

For the most part, there are generally two common approaches to this issue; one is to to be totally accepting and non-judgmental in the name of love and the other is to confront that person with the cold, hard uncompromising truth. But is there a third way? A way that neither negates love or truth? As challenging as this seems, I believe it is not only possible, but truly the Christian way.

But first we must consider what makes something a sin and why God condemns it in the first place. Is the Bible just full of a bunch of arbitrary rules that God put in place simply to set us up for failure? Is it just a gleeful opportunity for Him to be angry and disappointed with us once again? I think a full understanding of scripture demonstrates that God created this world with a natural order and anything that violates that order will suffer consequences. God commands things of us not just for His own amusement, but for our own good. To follow the instruction manual of life as God ordained it is ultimately the most beneficial for everyone, but often it requires faith. Failing to put our trust in our Creator will inevitably be met with grave consequences. Galatians explains it this way…

Don’t be misled—you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant. Those who live only to satisfy their own sinful nature will harvest decay and death from that sinful nature. But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit. So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up. Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone—especially to those in the family of faith. -Galatians 6:7-10

So then how can we approach those who are in the process of making mistakes with both a spirit of love and truth? Perhaps the best way is to first examine our own motives. If we can honestly say we care for their well-being and derive no satisfaction from their folly, then our first desire should be to warn them of the consequences they may face if they continue down the current path. This not only allows us to sincerely communicate our loving intentions, but do so in humility as we recognize ‘there but for the grace of God go I’ and our own desire to avoid such pitfalls. Then our primary concern should be to help others avoid them as well! That, to me, is what being a true brother or sister is all about and I believe this approach is further confirmed in Galatians…

Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. If you think you are too important to help someone, you are only fooling yourself. You are not that important. -Galatians 6:1-3

Of course, how we convey this makes the difference…do we approach them saying, “You’re a fool if you continue down that path and you should know better!” or “I love you dearly and am so concerned because I don’t want to see you get hurt.” One is certainly a more caring response. This does not guarantee that your warning will be happily received in any case, but hopefully, that person in your life will eventually appreciate your concern for them and be restored. Of course, more than anything we need to keep them in prayer because they have a Heavenly Father who loves them even more than we do and can reach them in ways that go beyond human ability. What peace there is in knowing that!