Good Ol’ SnOoPy
Today I was missing my cat, SnOoPy. He was my first pet ever. Since I was a little kid I always wanted a cat, but we were never permitted to have pets in our house. Having eight kids, my parents felt they didn’t want the extra responsibility or mouth to feed. I remember at the age of seven I befriended a fat, orange neighborhood cat that I would visit every day. Apparently, it didn’t like to be held by strange little girls, because one day I picked him up for a snuggle and it scratched me. It was the ultimate betrayal! I never went to see that cat again, but it didn’t stop me from wanting one.
Shortly after getting married, my new husband and I rented an apartment and my second order of business was to finally get my very own kitten! We went down to one of those pet stores in the mall and there he was…gray with a white muzzle, tummy and paws. He was not as hyper-active as his siblings and when I picked him up to hold him, he laid peacefully on my shoulder. No scratching! This one was going home with us.
I named him SnOoPy for the simple reason I loved The Peanuts and took delight in the irony of naming a cat after a dog. I was new to the whole pet thing, but luckily cats learn quick, which in turn, so did I. He took to his litter box immediately and with a mild bit of correction, seemed to figure out quickly enough that we didn’t like when he chewed on the cords behind the television. It wasn’t long before we bonded in a strong way, and thus began my love affair with being a pet owner.
SnOoPy taught me what a gift from God animals are and gave me a window into how friendship with animals was intended from the beginning. When nurtured, they provide so much valuable love, affection and comfort. But even as much as I love being a pet owner, I have only had 2 cats, a hamster, a guinea pig and a dog. Doesn’t sound like much for 22 years of pet ownership, but the reason stems from that fact that I take the commitment serious to care for the animals I take on for their entire life. I also find that emotional bonding for me means giving my full love and attention, therefore I cannot own more than two pets at a time or I will do them a disservice by spreading myself too thin.
Needless to say, SnOoPy was quite spoiled in every way possible. He was also one of those cats that wanted to be held. He loved sitting on my lap, snuggling on the sofa, being thrown over my shoulder or held like a baby. No question about it; he was a mama’s boy! He enjoyed my sole devotion for the first six years of his life when a new gray and white feline came into our lives…Willow.
Willow was just 6 weeks old when she came into the house. My mother-in-law’s cat had kittens, and even though I hadn’t thought much about getting another cat, Willow was just too dang adorable for words! SnOoPy didn’t seem to think so though. Depression quickly overcame my sweet, snuggle buddy…he wasn’t the baby any more! At least that must have been how he saw it, but time quickly proved that was not the case and before we knew it he was back to his old, spoiled self.
Actually, Willow was quite taken with SnOoPy and pestered him incessantly like an annoying little sister. He did what he could to avoid her, but with a little age he began to tolerate her and even like her a bit. Willow, however, was determined in her love for him and when SnOoPy got sick in 2007 she cared for him. She would lay by his side to comfort him and keep him clean when he no longer had the will to groom himself as he once did.
Watching his decline in health was terribly traumatizing for me because it seemed to happen so quickly. Just as the vet had given us hope that it was possible to get his diabetes under control, suddenly heart failure began to set in. It felt unfair. How could the cat I adored be declining at the young age of 10? I felt guilty as though I had done something wrong to cause this. Perhaps I wasn’t a great pet owner after all? The vet informed us that the heart condition was actually from an unreleated genetic disorder. I learned that the life expectancy for that disorder was actually two years, so my perspective changed to one of gratitude as I realized I had him in my life much longer than I should, but it didn’t make it any less heartbreaking.
It wasn’t long before we prepared to take the long drive to the vet to have SnOoPy put to sleep. His health was failing well beyond making him comfortable and his once healthy appetite was all but gone. In his final 24 hours I took him off all his diet food and prepared only his favorites. I even half-heartedly suspected whether his sudden decline in health couldn’t be attributed to switching to the new food, which he clearly did not enjoy. My suspicions were somewhat confirmed because as I spooned out his favorite soft food his appetite came back with a vengeance. It wouldn’t last, but it brought me some joy to know he had some bit of happiness in his final moments.
Though he was never a fan of cars, in some ways I think that ride to the vet was harder on me than him. I sat in the back seat so we could spend those final moments together and when I reached out my hand to comfort him, he rested his fuzzy chin on my hand as if to comfort me instead. We sat like that the whole way, tears rolling down my crimson cheeks. How could I say goodbye to my dear buddy?
The following moments were some of the most difficult in my 30 years of living. Without giving details, the experience was scary and terribly heart-wrenching as I witnessed the life leave his body. One minute he was there and then he was just…gone. I felt like a zombie on that ride back home. I walked in the door and looked around the room, realizing his presence would be forever absent. I could not fathom a world without SnOoPy. He had been such an intregal part of my everyday life. He had been with me through many moves and many seasons, both good and bad, always a constant companion throughout. I saw his favorite toy laying on the floor, a stuffed goose, and the dam broke. I threw myself on the sofa and cried bitter tears over losing my beloved, sweet kitty.
Willow eventually made her way over, experiencing her own confusion and grief, no doubt. I caressed her, but secretly despised her in the moment for not being the cat I wanted to hold, while simultaneously finding great comfort in her presence. She was youthful, healthy and an affectionate girl…she wouldn’t soon abandon me too.
A friend gave me a stone statue of a cat with wings as a memorial to SnOoPy. I still have it sitting in my house and it brings to mind my first pet everytime I look at it. I remember how his fur felt when I petted him, what his purr sounded like and how it felt to hold him in my arms. I still occasionally sing the songs and repeat the statements of endearment I said to him regularly, just to keep his memory alive. Even Willow, who is now a healthy 16-year-old, remains a tie to his existence. She was there and never did she live with another cat. From that moment it was just she and I (and a guinea pig named Bernard for a while).
That is until July 1, 2012 when a new friend came to live with us. Willow was now the well established pet and a pup named Minnie came to stay, along with all that having a dog entails. The cycle repeated. Like SnOoPy, Willow eventually came around, but has yet to fully accept this energetic intruder in her life. It’s funny how just over night the older animal can lose their status as the baby even though nothing about them has changed at all. Well, to me all my pets will always be the baby. Loved, adored and snuggled in excess!
If having a soul means being able to feel love and loyalty and gratitude, then animals are better off than a lot of humans. -James Harriot
