Five People
I often joke that when it comes to seeking the approval of others, there are only like 5 people whose opinion of me matters. Now the real number may be slightly higher, but the point of the statement is that I don’t really need validation from a whole lot of people. However, there are a handful of people in my life whose opinion of me matters a great deal!
These are the people I deeply admire and respect and desire the same esteem in return. We all need people like this in our lives to motivate us. These are the people who push us to be a better version of ourselves. To not be merely satisfied where we are, but to grow in both character and ambition.
For me, such people are incredibly rare, but I am thankful for the much-needed encouragement they provide. The thing is, far too many of us spent our adolescence seeking validation from far too many people we don’t respect or even know! Why is their approval something we crave? Even if we get it, it’s fleeting at best. These are not people who are invested in our lives, who love us and celebrate our achievements. These are people who are simply bystanders looking to share in another person’s moment of glory, be entertained and then move on to the next thing.
One of the things I love most about being a part of the church is that we are unified by a common value system whose main objective is to glorify a being far superior to us all. Even at our very best, we know we will never measure up to perfection, so it is God who we ultimately seek approval from and wish to please. It is He who sets the standard, not those around us, and it is He who compensates where we fall short. If God is for us, who can be against us? And because it puts us all on equal footing we gather as family, not competitors. At least, that’s the way it’s supposed to be.
You might be thinking that perhaps in an ideal world that’s what the church should be like, but the reputation is far from it. Well, we may be called to show the love of Christ to everyone, but we choose who we build relationship with. I am blessed to be surrounded by a number of people I feel also earnestly desire these things and am secure in their intentions where I’m concerned. For this reason, I don’t worry so much about how I look to everyone else. It’s ok if I don’t perform perfectly, I am among family. Those who would get any measure of satisfaction from my failures are people I wouldn’t want a relationship with anyway. So either way, I win!
This brings me a great deal of comfort but also strengthens me to step out and do things that would have otherwise terrified me for fear of judgment. My priorities completely change because not only do I hold my own opinion of myself in proper perspective, but I also don’t feel the need to gain the approval of the faceless crowd. So I encourage you…if fear of failure and rejection is holding you back from something you have a strong desire to do, silence the voices and seek support and wisdom from the people you actually hold in high regard. Who are your five people?
“How on earth can you believe while you are forever looking for each other’s approval and not for the glory that comes from the one God?” (John 5. 44 Phillips Version)
