The First Forty

Tomorrow I will turn 40 with very little fanfare. I’m fine with that as I’m not particularly excited about entering a new decade. After all, I’m still me and nothing has changed. Or has it? Upon reflection, it really strikes me how much my perspective on life is changing over time. While I’m still the same fun-loving kid at heart, a fact that will likely never change no matter my age, my eternal perspective is becoming more refined. I care so much less about the things that once held significance for me such as financial success, material possessions, and even my own personal status.

I have had several conversations over the last couple weeks that have got me thinking even how I view myself in relation to others (one of which inspired my last post). I find that where once I strived to be the best among my peers, these days I care very little where I rank. My value is no longer tied up in who I am better than or shaken by who is better than me. I fully accept that I am a flawed human being who will never be perfected this side of eternity. I am simply content knowing that someday I will indeed be perfected, it just won’t be today.

As I embrace that truth it has also allowed me to accept the flaws in others. While I acknowledge the brokenness in my loved ones, it doesn’t affect my admiration for them, on the contrary, I respect them more for pressing on despite their weaknesses and adversities. In place of perfection, I have come to value more meaningful traits such as those who love God, those who ponder the deeper questions of life, a great sense of humor, kindness, humility, and authenticity. Superficial things like age, appearances, self-doubt, and a messy house could never underscore those things in my eyes.

Likewise, how little I would value the friendship of a person who only sought a relationship with me because they perceived I had it all together. No, I am far more charmed by those who love me for the silly girl I am, flaws and all. Those are the people who I can be real with because I trust their motives. How refreshing! Perhaps this is why I have the healthiest friendships at this time in my life. I no longer feel the need to overcompensate to gain the approval of other’s, which led to me presenting a false image of who I was. No wonder the relationships of my youth had shallow roots. I never gave people a chance to know the real me, just the illusion of the person I wanted them to believe I was.

Another thing I’m learning that helps me to become less self-focused is serving others. When I’m busy helping and encouraging those around me I have little time to worry about how I stack up next to them. That’s because the need to compete is no longer my main motivation because I am investing myself in their success, which takes the pressure off in a big way. Not that I don’t still have my own dreams and aspirations, they just don’t need to be front and center in my life as the thing which defines me.

I have also gained perspective by appreciating the beauty of creation. When you allow yourself to truly contemplate the world around you that was formed by the hands of our brilliant Creator it really puts your own talents and abilities in check. I am humbled that God even allows us to even take part in the creative process. Those gifts and talents that He bestows on us, while precious, pale greatly in comparison to His mighty works! What can we accomplish in a lifetime that He couldn’t accomplish in the blink of an eye? Yet we run around trying to secure our legacy as if our accomplishments on this earth holds some eternal value. For those who are in Christ, we have an eternity to put our talents to use in far more substantial ways. This life is not the end of our purpose!

So yeah, even though I grow and have improved in some areas over the years, at this present time I’m still bad at finances, hate cooking, am terrible about putting my laundry away, prone to spilling food on my clothes, overly sensitive, insecure, naive, weak, immature and generally a goofball, but God promises to finish the good work He began in me. Not that I would complete it, but He is the one who will accomplish that. I need only continue to keep my eyes on Him. What peace there is in knowing that!

I also realize this shell is only going to further deteriorate, which is something no one looks forward to. However, in the grand scheme of things, outer beauty holds little significance to the impact we can make! Isaiah 53:2 reminds us that Jesus “had no form or majesty that we should look at him, and no beauty that we should desire him.” and yet, He was the most compelling man who ever lived and people were inexplicably drawn to Him because He served others in love. I don’t know about you, but I would much rather strive to that end!

So how do I want to spend the next 40 years, should God allow me the benefit of living that long? Giving thanks. Thanks for the many blessings I didn’t earn, thanks for my health when I can get up another day, thanks for meaningful relationships, thanks for a beautiful sunset, thanks for a peaceful day at the beach etc. Sure, getting older is not something most of us readily embrace, but I wouldn’t trade the wisdom I’ve gained either. Not to mention, there are still so many adventures to plan; road trips, visiting all 50 states, vacations at Disneyland, tornado chasing, hot air balloon rides, sailing around the world and who knows what else! Maybe I won’t do all these things in my lifetime, but it sure is fun to dream. One thing is certain, whatever life brings it won’t be boring!

“And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.” -Philippians 1:6